Texting is a major part of how many children communicate.
Concerns about kid texting habits are common as smartphones become a bigger part of childhood.
The expression “But everybody has one” is common today, and many kids end up getting a smartphone even before their teen years. What’s more, with the growing popularity of texting and social media, the pressure is on to possess a smartphone.
Today, texting is only one part of a child’s overall screen use. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends creating a family media plan that considers whether devices are taking time away from sleep, homework, exercise, and face-to-face family time.
When texting becomes an influential part of your child’s life, you may need to take steps to keep your kid safe. With things to worry about like predators reaching your child via their cell phone, texting and driving, bullying through texting as well as phone calls, and missing sleep or not doing homework because of too much smartphone use, it may be a good idea to set clear rules and stay involved in your child’s texting.
In this article, I will cover the following:
Rules
Nonetheless, there are many ways to manage your child’s activity on their smartphone that will help you sleep at night peacefully. There are a few rules that you should set for their smartphones to protect your child’s safety.
Rule 01: One important rule is to limit when your child can text. When your kid goes to bed, have them charge their phone outside the bedroom. Buy an alarm clock, so they can’t use the need for a wake-up call to keep their phone, or wake them up yourself in the morning. Monitor when your child drives to and from school (if they can drive yet) and check to ensure they aren’t texting and driving. Make it clear that the phone stays out of reach while the car is moving. According to NHTSA, sending or reading a text takes your eyes off the road for about five seconds. At 55 mph, that is like driving the length of a football field with your eyes closed.
Rule 02: Remind them that they can’t text in class. If they get caught, it may be a good idea to take away their phone for some time to show them that putting their smartphone before learning isn’t allowed. Making sure that you are consistent with smartphone rules will show your child that you need to be taken seriously.
Rule 03: Finally, it’s nice to have some family time, so if at all possible, don’t allow screen time during dinner. The only other time a phone shouldn’t be used is if they have any chores to do.
Setting Ground Rules May Not Be Enough
Keep in mind that there are ways that kids can work around the rules and still have the capacity to hide things from you.
Children are exceptionally tech-savvy and have methods to disguise and delete things on their phone.
It is not uncommon for a child to change the name of who truly is texting them or not have a contact name for them at all. Children sometimes don’t understand that their parents set rules in place for their good.
Any monitoring should be explained clearly and adjusted as your child grows. Tell them what you may review, why you are reviewing it, and what safety concerns would cause you to step in.
Leverage Mobile Directories (Safety)
On the off chance that there is a text on your child’s phone that you are concerned about, or if you just want to make sure that they are texting who they say they are, you may consider using a national cell phone directory to run a reverse cell phone lookup.
A reverse phone lookup may show possible public-record information associated with a phone number. Depending on what is available, a report may include a possible first, middle, or last name; address history; city and state; or other phone numbers associated with the record. Use the result as a lead, not proof of who is texting your child.
Keep in mind that there are concerns that need to be addressed once your child owns a smartphone, and some of these concerns are serious.
One thing that you may need to worry about is predators who might be reaching out to your child. Those who prey on children often will ask their victim to act as though the predator is his or her friend.
If you suspect online enticement or sexual exploitation, report it to NCMEC’s CyberTipline.
You may not spot this unless certain measures are taken. If you do a Reverse Cell Phone Lookup, it may help you determine whether a number appears connected to a best friend or someone else. Phone numbers can be reassigned, records can be outdated, and caller ID can be spoofed.
Furthermore, it might be a good idea to focus on unfamiliar or concerning contacts instead of searching every person on your child’s phone. Ask your child who the person is and compare what they tell you with the available information.
Another concern you may need to address is your child being harassed. If they receive any threatening or hurtful messages and are unaware of who they are from, researching the phone number may help you find possible information connected with the number. Save the messages, report the behavior, and block the sender when appropriate.
There is no limit to bullying in today’s society. Unfortunately, technology makes it easy to bully inside and outside any school’s walls, and the hurt that a child experiences through bullying may be a negative life change for them.
Pro Tip: National Cellular Directory is not a consumer reporting agency. Its information cannot be used to determine eligibility for credit, insurance, employment, housing, or another purpose covered by the Fair Credit Reporting Act.
Use Built-In Parental Controls
With the many worries that need to be considered once your child gets a smartphone, using built-in parental controls can give you a clearer picture without relying on an outdated third-party monitoring app.
For an iPhone or iPad, Apple’s Screen Time can show app and website activity, schedule downtime, set app limits, restrict content, and control who a child can communicate with during certain times.
For a supervised Android device or Chromebook, Google Family Link can set daily limits and downtime, manage apps and permissions, and show the location of supported devices.
These tools do not reveal every deleted message or prove who is behind an account. Use them as part of an open, age-appropriate safety plan instead of secretly monitoring everything your child does.
Money Saving Tip: How to Find Someone's Cell Phone Number for Free
Monitoring What Your Child Is Saying To Others and Vice Versa
Children reveal more personal information through text messaging than you would expect. If your child is hiding something from you, they may be sending some clues through text messaging.
Some kid text messages may be concerning and should always be taken seriously; examples include texts that are threatening, talk about self-harm, sexual requests, coercion, etc. If a message mentions self-harm, call or text 988 for crisis support; call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger. Save the conversation and seek help from the school, platform, law enforcement, or emergency services based on the level of danger.
These may be extreme examples of what could happen when texting isn’t discussed or supervised, but they still show how important it is to stay involved in your child’s activity.
Remember That Kids Think They Are Invincible
Kids may text and drive if they feel that they can get by with it. A child may be reckless simply because they can’t comprehend the risk they are taking as a result of their actions. Life is exciting and energizing to kids, and they think that on account of them being young that they are invincible. This is why it’s important to remember that privacy and independence should grow with age, maturity, and demonstrated responsibility.
It may feel intrusive to monitor the activity on your child’s phone, but it could potentially save their life. It is important to remember that technology may make the world slightly more dangerous for your child, but with the right parenting skills, technology can also help you keep your child safer than ever.
Most Importantly…
The most important thing you can do with your child though is always to ask them questions to show that you care about them. Make sure they are comfortable enough with you to be able to talk to you about anything, but still be firm on your rules. They may feel scared or embarrassed to come to you with their problems, especially if it is a big concern for them.
By showing interest in their lives and letting them know they can come to you with any problem, your child will feel safer to share their concerns with you more than anyone else.