Is It Possible To Love Two People At Once

How Does A Person Fall Into A Love Triangle?

I get how it happens. You start having feelings for someone else without actually trying. But sorry, you can’t be in love with two people at the same time. Here’s why...

You used to think that your heart could only be romantically linked to one person, but then something happens. You get feelings for someone else.

I’ve had it happen to me before, but that’s a story for a different time. In fact, I’d say most couples (even the really committed ones) have gone through a point of doubt in their relationship. Some of this doubt can be caused by a new shiny person entering into their monotonous, predictable life.

Relationship Advice: Check out these tips on how to find out if someone is attracted to you.

Love Triangle

Not surprisingly, studies show that unhappiness is growing in marriage every year. It’s against the odds that you will never consider leaving your partner at any point in your committed relationship.

Perhaps your situation is completely different and you aren’t even in a committed relationship with the two people that you have fallen for. You would really be in a pickle then, because who knows how the same people you can’t stop thinking about feel about you.

I will say this, being in love with two people at the same time is (most of the time) accidental.

You may think that someone who is in love with two people is a distasteful human being. How does that even happen? One would have to be actively pursuing another partner to be in love with two people at once, right? However, this can completely happen by accident if, for example, you fall in love with someone you see every day like your co-worker (or you are just dating around and end up falling for two people that you are seeing casually).

Each situation is different and must be handled differently in order to work things out. However, I do have some pointers to help guide you along the way.

You Can’t Control Your Feelings, But You Can Control How You React To These Feelings

This should be obvious. The first step is to take a breathe and remind yourself what is at stake here. Don’t make any rash decisions, and don’t behave badly. You need to step into this situation with a level head and mature outlook and be ready to face yourself (because it is more than likely that you might have to improve your behavior).

If You Fall In Love With Someone But Are Committed With Another

It not fair for either party to be left in the dark. You need to be upfront with both of your loves. Your new love needs to know that you are in a committed relationship, and your more matured love needs to know that you have feelings towards someone else.

Love Commtted

How To Handle This Difficult Situation

First and foremost, you need to be real with yourself and figure out if the feelings you have are feelings of love or lust. Sometimes, what appears to be love is just desire for something that you might be lacking in your current love relationship. If you have met someone new who ignites a flame inside of you, or it’s a coworker that you’ve known for years but something had changed with the two of you, make sure that it’s not lust that has your head turning towards someone new.

How To Handle This Difficult Situation

Relationship Tip: If you are going through hard times in your already committed relationship, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You need to be realistic and fair to your current partner.

Do you love this other person that has stepped into your heart or are you just stressed out about your current relationship and don’t want to face the hardship?

Think about it…

It might just be the desire that every human has at some point on their life to be with someone intimately beside their spouse. Do you just enjoy thinking about being with someone else besides the same person you are with every night? Take some time to consider the fact that almost everyone else has been at that point in their relationship at least once.

If you are having a hard time determining your feelings, it ’s time for you to decide if you are grown up enough to be committed in your relationship. If you can’t commit, you may need to step away from the relationship for a while or step away forever. Your significant other deserves better because they are missing out on another person who can commit to them and make them feel safe and worthy.

What If I’m Not In A Committed Relationship Yet

Whoa, Nelly. You fell in love fast with two people? You need some self-reflection (and possibly self-control)...

As far as your dating life goes, you need to be honest with yourself if you aren’t exclusive to either of them yet.

Let me point out that there is no need to tell them what is happening if you aren't exclusive to either of them. You haven't made a commitment yet and furthermore, they haven't made a commitment with you. Who knows who they are with when they aren't seeing you, either.

Dating Tip: If you are talking to someone on a dating website, make sure that you aren’t being deceived by a con-artist.

Look Inside Of Yourself

Sounds cheesy, but you put yourself in this position and now you need to do some self-reflecting. To determine who you want to be with, you will need to evaluate your own feelings.

What does that even mean?

What makes you love the two people you are thinking about? Do you really love the both of them? It may be confusing if you haven’t made a commitment with one-another to determine who you want to be with. Especially if you aren’t sure how each of them feels about you.

Open Relationships

If you have an open relationship, loving two people still isn’t acceptable in my book. If you love one person romantically and care for another, as long as your partner is okay with it you are perfectly fine. However, loving someone else while being in an open relationship is another story.

I know that most people who have an open relationship, even if they have multiple “partners”, their love and dedication belongs to one person. In my eyes, I don’t think it is truly possible to love two people at once.


If you want to fully love someone; you need to give your heart to them and devote yourself to them. Mentally, it's very hard to give your heart (romantically) to two people.

I find that it is impossible to love two people unless you take something away from one and give it to the other. It’s like your robbing both parties of the love experience that they should be receiving.

What About Polygamy Or Polyamory?

polygamy vs polyamory

Have you ever seen the show Sister Wives? Although I respect everyone’s decision to love as they choose (in most cases) there are obvious jealousy issues between the women (and other problems).

You cannot love two people at once in a romantic sense. Humans are jealous by nature, and happiness will not come from a relationship where you are giving only pieces of your heart to each person. It’s just not the same connection as belonging to one person.

You Can’t Move Forward In Any Relationship Until You Make Up Your Mind

It’s important to not make any big decisions with both relationships until you have made up your mind. You also should not be physical with either party during this confusing time. The last thing you want affecting your judgment is lust and not love.

Important Tip: Check out our guide on protecting yourself before breaking up

Here’s The Point

Each situation is unique. Make sure to have a level head when working through the nightmare you created, it will make it a lot easier on yourself and the other people involved. The last thing you will want to do is regret your decision and cause more pain and confusion for everyone.

You want to be fair to both parties and come to a decision and solve the dilemma, it’s important to be able to move past this incident with a clean conscience.

Additionally, you might also want to prepare yourself for the worst outcome. It is possible that the one you chose will want nothing to do with you. The person might be hurt about your decision to consider another person. Or perhaps the one you love doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Move with caution, ready to accept whatever outcome is thrown your way.